Martin Makes Light of Criticism in FCBA Monologue
FCC Chmn. Martin used Tues.’s FCBA Chairman’s Dinner to poke fun at the stern reaction he received to some of last year’s jokes. Martin was taken to task by Sen. Boxer (D-Cal.) at a March hearing for joking during the Dec. 2005 Chairman’s Dinner about the “KGB-like atmosphere” at the FCC on his watch. Boxer said she didn’t find his comments funny.
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“As a result, when we got together to write these remarks,” Martin said Tues., “there was, and there’s really no other way to put this, a KGB like atmosphere that prevailed.” But Martin provided 7 reasons the FCC isn’t like the KGB, including: “The KGB knows how to terminate a backlog… The KGB is run efficiently… The KGB knows how to handle recusals.” He concluded: “The number one reason why the FCC is not like the KGB -- the highest rank ever achieved in Russian government by a former KGB official: President. The highest rank ever achieved in the U.S. government by a former FCC chairman: FCC chairman.”
Martin addressed through humor a controversial photo from last summer in Detail magazine that showed him, without jacket or tie, collar open and shirt sleeves rolled up, standing on an unmade bed in a hotel room, while 2 top communications lobbyists played cards in the foreground. Martin said it was a mistake. He was tired and lured to the room by a man who offered him a drink which he said would help Martin sleep. “I have since learned that this man worked for the KGB,” he said: “The man said that if I don’t give the Russian government 30 MHz of 700 MHz spectrum, compromising pictures of me would be published in a major magazine.”
Martin touched on the recurring rumors that his departure as chmn. is imminent. “In November, there were rumors about me leaving in January, and in January there were rumors I would leave in April,” he said: “Now there are rumors I will leave in June. I want to make sure to clarify things -- let me state clearly, all the rumors about me leaving in September should not begin until June.”
In other remarks he noted the opposition of NAB to the XM-Sirius merger. “They say the FCC should not reward an industry that made Howard Stern its poster child. That’s according to NAB spokesman Don Imus.” Martin also joked about the extent to which attorneys find themselves with clients at cross purposes. He joked that the merger also made the news when former Attorney Gen. John Ashcroft signed on to represent NAB after his services were turned down by XM: “It was revealed that a former attorney general had offered his legal services to both sides on the issue, but Dick Wiley already had that job.” He said he was curious about what name the combined company would take: “I'm told a number of names are in the running, but I think the smart money is on AT&T.” Martin also made light of the Commission’s approval of the AT&T-BellSouth merger. “Some people say it took us way too long,” he said. “I say if we hadn’t broken them up in the first place this wouldn’t even be an issue.”
Martin also poked gentle fun at his colleagues, joking that the FCBA has to reschedule the dinner from last summer because of problems with the menu. “Commissioner Tate raised concerns that the desert brownies had too many calories for any children present,” he said, recalling her work on the Childhood Obesity Task Force. Alluding to Comr. McDowell’s recusal from the AT&T-BellSouth merger, he observed: “McDowell refused to participate at all in choosing the menu, but then expressed outrage that we were serving Swiss cheese.”